Main Character Energy

On Friday, I snagged this sticker as a cash register impulse grab at Leanna Lin's Wonderland in Eagle Rock. The cheetah made me think of Glennon Doyle's book, Untamed (one of my faves), and I've been drawn to pink & red together lately. Add to that my opera background and flair for the dramatic, and it was an automatic "hell yes."

This little sticker has given me a lot to think about, though. I was doing a writing exercise about money for Studio Elite, and something clicked.

Throughout my singing career, I mostly sang seconda characters. Not the leading lady, but the maid, the friend, the sister, the cousin, the aunt (IYKYK). And I enjoyed it! (Not to mention that I felt less pressure.)

In 2019, I gave my last operatic performance. In 2020, like so many of us, I entered my Sweatpants Era. In 2022, when my mom died, I lost part of my spark. Not all of it, but good lord did grief take a lot out of me.

Without any self-judgment, and also being really vulnerable, I can say that I "let myself go." I just didn't have the energy I used to. I gave myself a TON of grace, and was working on loving myself as-is. Radical self-acceptance and self-love were crucial, especially when I was trying to survive the hardest season of my life.

So it's not surprising that I've been feeling really sluggish (because also: menopause). Still accomplishing things, still growing as a human, as an artist, and as a leader, but in slow motion. Which is fine. Everyone grieves in their own way, and at their own speed. My speed the last 4.5 years has been slow AF.

I am ready for Main Character Energy. (Main Character Money, too!) Main Character Energy doesn't mean that everything is all about me all the time. But when it comes to energy, what we put out is what we get back. When I imagine myself as the Main Character -- of an opera, of a small business, of my life -- the energy I put out is VERY different. So are my habits.

Here's what I figured out.

I loved the seconda roles. The maid, the friend, the aunt: they're fun to sing and easier to carry. But I noticed I'd carried the habit offstage, casting myself as the supporting character in my business (not great for a boss) and in my own money story. Next thing I knew, life had cast me as a trustee and caregiver. No time to rehearse, no understudy.

So if any of this resonates, here are three questions. Write fast, don't edit.

1. Where am I playing the supporting role? Work, money, family, your own calendar. Name the scene.

2. Is it a choice or a habit? Seconda is a fine choice. It's an unsatisfying default.

3. What would the lead do next? Not the whole aria. Just the next line. Send the email. Raise the price. Go to bed early. Dress for the dopamine. Buy the thing that makes you grin at the register.

That last one is why there's a cheetah in a bikini on my laptop. Main Character Energy doesn't start with a rebrand or a five-year plan. It starts small and a little ridiculous, and it's visible every time you open the lid.

So pick one sticker-sized move this week. Then tell me what it was. I want to know who's stepping into the spotlight and to celebrate with you.

XOXO,

Erika